** Saturday, November 20, 2004 __
Currently Feeling*
Coughing?
I did two good things today which you all may think it isn't any big deal about it. I bathed my dog and sweep the whole house. Haha! Because I don't do this in my life. I mean I do but totally rare. So it's very surprising that my grandma saw me did this and she praised me a lot.
I'm a spoon-fed child. Nobody ask me to do anything when I'm young. I bored in kind of mid wealthy family and my dad's business is getting good, we shifted to a terrace house after my first HDB mansionette(how do you spell this). My family used to employ maids to do the house work. Mum always spoils me. She used to serve me water, drinks, food, even feed me when I was young, maid used to wear for me shoes, socks, tie my hair before going for school. I was treated like a 'princess' and nobody says anything about it. Until my father's business went down down and down, we are forced to shift to Bayshore Park which is one of the condo in ECP. I started to cook my own stuff and doing a little chores but I'm still kind of spoilt because Mum didn't ask me to do anything. Then, I shifted to Pasir Ris after that. And still, Mum didn't force me to do anything. I don't even cook for the family or do any good deeds for the family. Even up till now, I'm really very useless. My family used to blame me for not doing anything and just laze around. Being a useless child in the family, I tried to do things for them to prove them that I'm not. But sometimes, things will go wrong and they blame me that I'm making things worst. Even the recent case, my sis argued with my dad because of me.
What stuff I do, they think it is stupid, meaningless and useless, a burden to them. Is that so? I don't know why. My character and attitude is different as compared to outside than at home. I don't know why I am still so childish. A lil kid who is already 16years(gonna 17yrs in 6more mths) and knows nothing but complain infront of her parents and sit down there doing nothing?! I know. I know I'm always in the wrong but I can't be help. It's a habit. It's hard for me to change so sudden. I wish I could play a part in the family. Even house matters, I'm not well informed. I just feel that I'm sort of an outcast in the family. I don't want them to care even they care for me.
I'm so pissed with it. I don't have total freedom. I can't do things what my sis can do. I asked my mum why? She said I'm still young and childish. Ok. I admit that I'm childish. I want to prove them to them and see that ACTUALLY I'm NOT. They are simply just spoiling me and then say that I can't do anything for them. What do you expect me to do? I don't have my freedom and how they want me to grow up? Everything is limited to me. This I can't that also can't. How do you expect me to learn new things with a boring and same old life. Damn it. I hate this. I hate my family. Even sis is so irritating. Damn.
Forget about this. Argh. Later I'm going out to meet dear and goto TM because of him(that Joi Singer. Shucks. Is she that good? I hate her songs). Yah. I shall stop here. Sigh. Bloody Saturday.
I did two good things today which you all may think it isn't any big deal about it. I bathed my dog and sweep the whole house. Haha! Because I don't do this in my life. I mean I do but totally rare. So it's very surprising that my grandma saw me did this and she praised me a lot.
I'm a spoon-fed child. Nobody ask me to do anything when I'm young. I bored in kind of mid wealthy family and my dad's business is getting good, we shifted to a terrace house after my first HDB mansionette(how do you spell this). My family used to employ maids to do the house work. Mum always spoils me. She used to serve me water, drinks, food, even feed me when I was young, maid used to wear for me shoes, socks, tie my hair before going for school. I was treated like a 'princess' and nobody says anything about it. Until my father's business went down down and down, we are forced to shift to Bayshore Park which is one of the condo in ECP. I started to cook my own stuff and doing a little chores but I'm still kind of spoilt because Mum didn't ask me to do anything. Then, I shifted to Pasir Ris after that. And still, Mum didn't force me to do anything. I don't even cook for the family or do any good deeds for the family. Even up till now, I'm really very useless. My family used to blame me for not doing anything and just laze around. Being a useless child in the family, I tried to do things for them to prove them that I'm not. But sometimes, things will go wrong and they blame me that I'm making things worst. Even the recent case, my sis argued with my dad because of me.
What stuff I do, they think it is stupid, meaningless and useless, a burden to them. Is that so? I don't know why. My character and attitude is different as compared to outside than at home. I don't know why I am still so childish. A lil kid who is already 16years(gonna 17yrs in 6more mths) and knows nothing but complain infront of her parents and sit down there doing nothing?! I know. I know I'm always in the wrong but I can't be help. It's a habit. It's hard for me to change so sudden. I wish I could play a part in the family. Even house matters, I'm not well informed. I just feel that I'm sort of an outcast in the family. I don't want them to care even they care for me.
I'm so pissed with it. I don't have total freedom. I can't do things what my sis can do. I asked my mum why? She said I'm still young and childish. Ok. I admit that I'm childish. I want to prove them to them and see that ACTUALLY I'm NOT. They are simply just spoiling me and then say that I can't do anything for them. What do you expect me to do? I don't have my freedom and how they want me to grow up? Everything is limited to me. This I can't that also can't. How do you expect me to learn new things with a boring and same old life. Damn it. I hate this. I hate my family. Even sis is so irritating. Damn.
Forget about this. Argh. Later I'm going out to meet dear and goto TM because of him(that Joi Singer. Shucks. Is she that good? I hate her songs). Yah. I shall stop here. Sigh. Bloody Saturday.