** Friday, September 17, 2004 __
Currently Feeling*
...
assholic days. a lot of things happened lately. a lot! all happen too sudden. i don't even know whats happening. life real sucks. i decided to blog again because IM LONELY. argh!
i hate this feeling. everything seem to be GONE and leave me alone in the world?! what are friends for man. Thinking that you have lots of friends but actually you only have their shell. for decoration. give u self-contentment to think that u have friends. don't be afraid. but WRONG. what the hell. even if they are busy. ALL OF THEM?! AT ONE SHOT? FOR DAYS?! Damn it. Now, i don't even want love and friends.
darn it. i'm bored. hp can throw away already. nobody will sms me at all. not even family members. what the hell. it's always i'm the one who take the initiative to call them or start a conversation. .................. no comments for this. i realised my life is so pathetic. everyone is gone. even my love one. guess i'm the only one pity myself. sigh.
don't even wanna think about it. i screwed everything up. ALL. everything! whats up with me man. i don't even know what am i thinking, what am i doing or whats happening?! i just do things blindly, without thinking. it's like a drunken woman in a unconscious state, telling people news and details. everything may be false, rumours, don't know whats happening. even things are untrue/doesn't happen at all also say it out. argh. damn.
i just wanna break down and cry. shout it out everything. but i dont have the chance. why? why now? the most important period - exams. damn it. am i dreaming? am i in a nightmare?! when can i wake up from this dream? am i really in reality? sometimes i'm thinking.. maybe what i'm living now is my dream and what i dream is my reality. i don't know..
i slept just now. had a dream. very realistic. dreams can't be controlled. i also don't know why i dreamt of ego. one is few days ago. now the second one. it's like a episode. continue from the first story. he told me sorry of what he had done. i was surprised! and we meet up to talk. and some stuff happen. when i woke up, it's only a dream. damn it. .....
wkrz playing 'you should really know' now. the opposite version of 'i don't wanna know' -_-
what's love man.
i realised few days ago. i haven't change all these years. i thought i did. but i didn't. nonsense. i'm still a childish and stubborn girl. argh. therefore, target 1st Jan 2005. to change my life. my style. everything. attitude. character. ALL! argh. -_-
assholic days. a lot of things happened lately. a lot! all happen too sudden. i don't even know whats happening. life real sucks. i decided to blog again because IM LONELY. argh!
i hate this feeling. everything seem to be GONE and leave me alone in the world?! what are friends for man. Thinking that you have lots of friends but actually you only have their shell. for decoration. give u self-contentment to think that u have friends. don't be afraid. but WRONG. what the hell. even if they are busy. ALL OF THEM?! AT ONE SHOT? FOR DAYS?! Damn it. Now, i don't even want love and friends.
darn it. i'm bored. hp can throw away already. nobody will sms me at all. not even family members. what the hell. it's always i'm the one who take the initiative to call them or start a conversation. .................. no comments for this. i realised my life is so pathetic. everyone is gone. even my love one. guess i'm the only one pity myself. sigh.
don't even wanna think about it. i screwed everything up. ALL. everything! whats up with me man. i don't even know what am i thinking, what am i doing or whats happening?! i just do things blindly, without thinking. it's like a drunken woman in a unconscious state, telling people news and details. everything may be false, rumours, don't know whats happening. even things are untrue/doesn't happen at all also say it out. argh. damn.
i just wanna break down and cry. shout it out everything. but i dont have the chance. why? why now? the most important period - exams. damn it. am i dreaming? am i in a nightmare?! when can i wake up from this dream? am i really in reality? sometimes i'm thinking.. maybe what i'm living now is my dream and what i dream is my reality. i don't know..
i slept just now. had a dream. very realistic. dreams can't be controlled. i also don't know why i dreamt of ego. one is few days ago. now the second one. it's like a episode. continue from the first story. he told me sorry of what he had done. i was surprised! and we meet up to talk. and some stuff happen. when i woke up, it's only a dream. damn it. .....
wkrz playing 'you should really know' now. the opposite version of 'i don't wanna know' -_-
what's love man.
i realised few days ago. i haven't change all these years. i thought i did. but i didn't. nonsense. i'm still a childish and stubborn girl. argh. therefore, target 1st Jan 2005. to change my life. my style. everything. attitude. character. ALL! argh. -_-